(From my book of Aphorisms- 'Thoughts To Make You Think' By Helen Leigh - http://thoughtstomakeyouthink.doomby.com - Chapter One - Personal Development)
*Develop the skill to really look at another and try to feel their perspective or gage what they like and feel about things.
Don't talk at someone to hear yourself. To hear how clever you are or how meaningful you are or how understanding you are, and when the other person talks don't relate what they say only to yourself. This creates meaningless talking, just speaking out loud to yourself. You are just reverberating yourself at someone else, and it's childlike/Immature to only believe you are the most important person and that everything someone says relates to you or has to relate to you so that you can be compassionate and understanding.
It is immature to have people serve you in this way and it is boring for others too.
Life is so much greater and richer if you please others how they want to be pleased, not by how you think they want to be pleased, that's lazy, and selfish; to just steal another's energy because they are giving/pleasing you all the time, or because you can't be bothered listening to them or reading their energy and facial expressions/body language and not allowing their perspective to add to your own, or enlighten you; you loose that richness of shared experiences.
You have to listen with open ears, not 'tit for tat', not how you feel personally about what they said, or understand them only because you had a similar story, ….kids do that.
True listening and Care and Compassion is in allowing someone to tell you their story and sharing how they feel with you. If you do this, the rewards are great, you no longer get upset, emotional, or offended because you aren't personally relating, you stand to truly help someone, you gain unconditional love from feeling others and recognising others have feelings, so your not treating others like objects, you most likely won't get a serious illness, because hardness, coldness, and negative emotions, lower your immune system and damages your nervous system, and you will end up having far more intimate and rewarding relationships and a far more enjoyable life.